


No Organization Necessary

by Cactus_Impactus



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: About the Belarus/Ukraine thing, America is a little shit, Bottom Russia (Hetalia), Comedy, Crack, Eventual Romance, Everyone Is Gay, Except Denmark and Norway, F/F, F/M, Generally very memey, High School, How Do I Tag, M/M, Multi, My First Fanfic, Prussia is a Little Shit, Romance, Russia is just on the losing end here, Sibling Incest, Sister-Sister Relationship, Sister/Sister Incest, Thanks Reddit, Turkey is our resident memelord, group chat au, plz give it a chance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:01:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22521433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cactus_Impactus/pseuds/Cactus_Impactus
Summary: Ludwig Beilschmidt, Student Council President, decides to create a group chat to help keep everything organized and neat before Student Council meetings. The other Council members have other ideas, however, and everything quickly goes downhill.Ludwig regrets everything.
Relationships: America/Russia (Hetalia), Austria/Switzerland (Hetalia), Belarus/Ukraine (Hetalia), Belgium/Hungary (Hetalia), Bulgaria/Romania (Hetalia), Denmark/Female Norway (Hetalia), Female Canada/Female Prussia (Hetalia), Female England/Female France (Hetalia), Female Finland/Female Sweden (Hetalia), Female Lithuania/Female Poland (Hetalia), Germany/North Italy (Hetalia), Greece/Japan (Hetalia), Liechtenstein/Monaco (Hetalia), Netherlands/Turkey (Hetalia), Russia/Ukraine (Hetalia), South Italy/Spain (Hetalia)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 104





	1. The Death of Ludwig Beilschmidt

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fanfic, and I hope you enjoy! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for a while. I hope you enjoy! by the way, America and Canada are siblings and have the last name Jones-Williams.

**[LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT] has created chat [STUDENT COUNCIL CHAT]**

**[LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT] has added [ALFRED JONES-WILLIAMS], [IVAN BRAGINSKI], [FELICIANO VARGAS], [MADELEINE JONES-WILLIAMS], [KIKU HONDA], [ALICE KIRKLAND], AND [MARIANNE BONNEFOY] to chatroom [STUDENT COUNCIL CHAT]**

LUDWIG: Hello, Student Council members. I have created this chatroom to help us organize Student Council duties in the event where we cannot meet in the same place all at once. Our work requires extensive planning and this is a good solution for us to get any extra work out of the way.

ALFRED: great idea ludwig

**User [ALFRED JONES-WILLIAMS] has changed username to [MYHEROALFREDEMIA].**

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: do you know how great the potential for memes is in this place

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: this is gonna be so fire

LUDWIG: ALFRED! Cut that out this instant! This chatroom is for serious purposes only!

**User [IVAN BRAGINSKI] has changed username to [YAKOVSMIRNOFF].**

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: I do not see why a place of such potential should be squandered on such a serious matter. Why would I use this for work when I can communicate to all of my best friends this way?

LUDWIG: THIS CHATROOM WAS ONLY INTENDED FOR WORK PURPOSES!

LUDWIG: Also I am not your best friend.

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: What was that?

ALICE: I can hear him kolkol-ing from the other room.

LUDWIG: ... I am your best friend.

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: Better :D

MARIANNE: Ivan is right! Do you know how much matchmaker potential is here on this group chat? It would be such a waste to throw this out on work.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: im just here for memes bro

FELICIANO: Luddy we can use this place to talk about how beautiful pasta is! surely you cant argue with pasta! and we can talk about how great pasta tastes and how great pasta is and how the miracle of pasta was born!!!!!!!

LUDWIG: Feli...

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: gay

LUDWIG: Shut your goddamn mouth before I ban you.

MADELEINE: Alfred, please dont do anything stupid

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: who tf is madeleine

KIKU; I do not know.

LUDWIG: Neither do I.

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: Why did you invite her then?

LUDWIG: I don't rightfully know.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: explain urself madeleine before u get banned

MADELEINE: Alfred, I'm your sister... Ludwig, I'm a member of Student Council...

LUDWIG: Ah, right! Sorry Madeleine.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: oh yeah ur the person ive been living with for the last 17 years of my life

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: how u doin fam

MARIANNE: What was that crashing sound?

ALICE: Maddie just shoved Alfred down the stairs.

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: This is going to be a lot of fun! :DD


	2. Alice's top

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: How have all of my friends' day been? 

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: my fukciggn arm is brnoken bcuz maddie

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: y tf did u psuh me

MADELEINE: You deserved it

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: >:(

**User [FELICIANO VARGAS] has changed username to {TOMATOLOVER].**

TOMATOLOVER: I GOT TO MAKE PASTA IN HOME EC

TOMATOLOVER: SO MUCH PASTA

TOMATOLOVER: SO MANY PRECIOUS TOMATOES

MARIANNE: Your username sounds like it was made by a 40-yr old Karen.

MARIANNE: By the way, are there any cute girls in your Home Ec class?

ALICE: Quiet, you perverted baguette.

**User [MARIANNE BONNEFOY] has changed username to [PERVERTEDBAGUETTE].**

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: Thanks for the username, Eyebrows!

ALICE: YOU BLOODY BASTARD

LUDWIG: Why does Alice look like she is about to combust?

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: No reason.

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: Also can you tell her that her tits look very squishable and nice in that blouse?

LUDWIG: ...

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: ...

TOMATOLOVER: ...

MADELEINE: ...

KIKU: Have you no shame?

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: no

MADELEINE: Oh shit

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: what

MADELEINE: Alice is checking her phone

ALICE: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME YOU SLIMY PERVERT FROG BASTARD

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: I stand by what I said

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: Your breasts really do look great in that top

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: So nice and soft...

**User [ALICE KIRKLAND] has left the chatroom [SODOMIZE ME HARDER MOMMY].**

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: ALDKFALDFHASDLFJALDKFJALSDKJFALSKD

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: DEAD

LUDWIG: Wow...

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: Who changed the chatroom name?

LUDWIG: Oh dear sweet fuck.

MADELEINE: THAT FUKCING CHAT NAME

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

LUDWIG: How did you change it?

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: a little professional help

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: I am glad all of my friends are having such great days!


	3. A Wild Prussia Appears!

**[LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT] added [JULCHEN BEILSCHMIDT] to chatroom [SODOMIZE ME HARDER MOMMY].**

JULCHEN: WHATS UP BITCHASSES

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: JULES!

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: JULES!

MADELEINE: JULES!

JULCHEN: BIRDIE!

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: How dare you add this vile weed to my beautiful sunflower patch?

LUDWIG: She found out about the chat. I had no choice.

JULCHEN: not even gonna say anything about how he called me a vile weed?

JULCHEN: feckin rude

JULCHEN: How can someone as AWESOME as I am be a vile weed?

TOMATOLOVER: JULCHEN!!! HOW ARE YOU? :DDDDDD

JULCHEN: FELI!

KIKU: It is good to see you, Julchen.

JULCHEN: OMG KIKU HI HOWVE YOU BEEN

KIKU: I have been doing well, Julchen.

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: Leave this precious place and my precious friends alone.

JULCHEN: no

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: lighten up a little bit would ya

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: everyone here likes Jules except for u and maybe alice

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: but alice doesnt like anyone except for marianne

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: excuse me?

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: she told me to keep it a secret

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: wait

MADELEINE: You absolute moron.

LUDWIG: ...

**User [LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT] added [ALICE KIRKLAND] to the chatroom [SODOMIZE ME HARDER MOMMY].**

LUDWIG: Read above.

ALICE: ALFRED YOU STUPID HORSEWANKING CUNT

ALICE: IM COMING TO YOUR HOUSE TO KICK YOUR DIABETIC ASS INTO ANOTHER FUCKING DIMENSION

MADELEINE: LUDWIG YOU ABSOLUTE MEMELORD

JULCHEN: GOD DAMN LITTLE BRO

LUDWIG: I have essentially given up on this being serious.

MADELEINE: ALICE JUST KICKED THE FUCKING DOOR DOWN

MADELEINE: ALICE YOU ARE PAYING FOR THAT

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: NO PLEASE IM ONLY ON SEASON 2 OF MY HERO ACADEMIA

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: IM NOT READY TO DIE

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: YOU STILL OWE ME 57 BUCKS

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

JULCHEN: Birdie whats going on

MADELEINE: Shit is going seriously wrong down there

KIKU: As much as I hate this chat, it sure is entertaining.


	4. Problems in a small household

**[LUDWIG BEILSCHMIDT] added [ROMANO VARGAS] to chatroom [CORONA VIRUS ALERT].**

ROMANO: Did my idiot fratello put you up to this, you potato bastard?

LUDWIG: Ja, unfortunately.

**User [ROMANO VARGAS] has changed username to [POTATOESAREGAY].**

POTATOESAREGAY: Stupid bastard.

LUDWIG: ...

TOMATOLOVER: FRATELLO

TOMATOLOVER: STOP BEING SO RUDE TO LUDDY

TOMATOLOVER: I KNOW HE IS SCARY AT FIRST BUT WHEN YOU GET KNOW HIM HES A GREAT GUY

POTATOESAREGAY: YOU ONLY THINK THAT BECAUSE YOU RIDE HIS COCK ALL NIGHT

LUDWIG: !!!

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: excuse me what the fuck

MADELEINE: why

JULCHEN: MY VIRGIN EYES!

JULCHEN: MY AWESOMENESS HAS BEEN TAINTED BY KNOWLEDGE OF MY BRUDERS SEX LIFE

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: I did not need to see that.

ALICE: Absolutely cursed.

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: I know I am a perv but I only perv over women

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: thats just gross

KIKU: This chat is complete degeneracy.

POTATOESAREGAY: YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU HAVE IT ROUGH

POTATOESAREGAY: I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT SHIT

POTATOESAREGAY: OUR HOUSE IS FUCKING SMALL FRATELLO

TOMATOLOVER: SORRY?

POTATOESAREGAY: SORRY WONT RESTORE MY INNOCENCE

TOMATOLOVER: :(

POTATOESAREGAY: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: My sunflower field is wilting...


	5. The Urinal Deuce

JULCHEN: KESESESESESESESESE

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: What is it you demented snake?

JULCHEN: ALFRED JUST GOT DETENTION FOR SHITTING IN THE URINAL

LUDWIG: Every new day burns a hole in my soul.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: quiet emo

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: I thought u were over that after you started hitting ppl for no reason

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: Oh... _that..._

LUDWIG: We do not speak of that here.

MADELEINE: Alfred, why did you shit in the urinal?

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: Romano said hed give me 10 bucks

POTATOESAREGAY: I’m a man of my word.

TOMATOLOVER: Fratello why???

POTATOESAREGAY: because

**User [MADELEINE JONES-WILLIAMS] has changed username to [OHMAPLE].**

OHMAPLE: Still doesn’t explain who reported you to Principal Julius.

POTATOESAREGAY: After he shit the Cuban janitor walked in

POTATOESAREGAY: I mean like the second he was done

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: wtf even is the janitors name

LUDWIG: Janitor Martín.

JULCHEN: RIP that guy

**User [JULCHEN BEILSCHMIDT] changed username to [ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT].**

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: better

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: where is Kiku

LUDWIG: He told me he turned off notifications. I should join him.

TOMATOLOVER: LUDDY NO

TOMATOLOVER: I BEG OF YOU

LUDWIG: Fine

TOMATOLOVER: YAY

Meanwhile in a private chat...

ALFRED: Listen Alice im really sorry that i spilled ur crush on marianne

ALFRED: but i encourage you to ask her out

ALICE: No. She’s been my enemy since 1st grade. How could she possibly like me?

ALFRED: u guys mellowed our after ludwig went emo

ALFRED: did u not hear her talk abt ur tiddies

ALICE: That was just her being perverted.

ALFRED: im pretty sure it wasnt

ALFRED: im better at reading the room than u think

ALICE: I’m not asking her out.

ALFRED: cmon

ALFRED: i kno u want a cutie french gf

ALICE: ...

ALFRED: i kno u want that big tiddy french gf

ALICE: Shut up, Alfred.

ALICE: I’ll... ask her out Saturday.

ALFRED: DEW IT

ALFRED: DO THE DEW

ALICE: Mountain Dew is disgusting

ALFRED: HOW DARE YOU DISS THE SECOND BEST SODA

ALFRED: REEEEEEEEE

ALICE: You’re such an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’m hitting stride
> 
> Thanks for the kudos!


	6. Ice Storms Galore

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: oh lawd

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: That fucking ice storm was brutal

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: 4 days without power smh

OHMAPLE: That was the absolute worst

POTATOESAREGAY: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE PASTA BY BOILING THE WATER OVER A FUCKING CAMPFIRE

POTATOESAREGAY: NEVER LIVING IN A COLD PLACE AGAIN

LUDWIG: There was always the option of not having pasta.

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: That was a dangerous thing to say in front of an Italian.

TOMATOLOVER: LUDDY HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A CRUEL THING

TOMATOLOVER: PASTA IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME ALIVE

POTATOESAREGAY: IMAGINE IF YOU COULDNT HAVE WURST FOR A WEEK

LUDWIG: That would be unfortunate, but manageable.

POTATOESAREGAY: I DOUBT THAT

POTATOESAREGAY: I WILL MAKE THAT A REALITY

POTATOESAREGAY: WATCH YOU SUFFER FROM LACK OF WURST

LUDWIG: You would not dare.

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: IF YOU TAKE OUR WURST I WILL STEAL YOUR TOMATOES

POTATOESAREGAY: JULCHEN DONT EVEN FUCKING THINK ABOUT IT

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: In order to save Ludwig and Feliciano’s relationship I’m gonna change the subject

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: We have fucking mountains of homework

ALICE: I have 16 individual worksheets and a research paper due next Monday.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: bruh same

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: I highly doubt you would do any of the homework.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: hey sometimes i do my hw

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: Press X to doubt.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: Holy SHIT Ivan just made a meme

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: I have a sense of humor, too.

OHMAPLE: inb4 Ivan is a secret memelord

POTATOESAREGAY: I think he’s more of an edgelord than a memelord

**User [YAKOVSMIRNOFF] went idle.**

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: OH SHIT UR FUCKED

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: HIDE FOR YOUR LIFE

**User [POTATOESAREGAY] went idle.**

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: riperoni romano

TOMATOLOVER: DONT WORRY HE WILL BE OK

TOMATOLOVER: HE IS HIDDEN SOMEWHERE UNFINDABLE

ALICE: I think it’s about time we do our homework.

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: lemme boot up my playlist

OHMAPLE: ALFRED NO

OHAMPLE: USE YOUR FUCKING HEADPHONES THIS TIME

OHMAPLE: ALFRED

ALICE: What the fuck am I hearing?

OHMAPLE: ALFRED BLASTS METAL AT FULL VOLUME WHEN HES DOING HOMEWORK

ALICE: I can hear it from across the street!

OHMAPLE: HELP ME

OHMAPLE: Jules can I stay at your place to do my homework?

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: OF COURSE

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

OHMAPLE: It’s not like that

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**User [YAKOVSMIRNOFF] went active.**

YAKOVSMIRNOFF: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**User [YAKOVSMIRNOFF] went idle.**

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: IM DEAD

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: HONHONHONHONHON

ALICE: Wow...

LUDWIG: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: LUDWIG NEIN

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: MEIN BRUDER

ZEAWESOMEBEILSCHMIDT: YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME

MYHEROALFREDEMIA: I CANT BREATHE

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: My matchmaker senses are tingling honhonhon

ALICE: Why are you like this?

PERVERTEDBAGUETTE: To get in your pants

**User [ALICEKIRKLAND] went idle.**


End file.
